self development

Billy Vaugh Song

2010-07-10T11:10:00.000+07:00

Busana Wanita

2010-06-16T11:07:00.004+07:00

1. Terpenting dalam memilih busana muslim adalah sesuai dengan aturan Islam. Busana Muslim bertujuan untuk menutup aurat dan melindungi tubuh pemakainya dari hal-hal yang bisa mencederai. Oleh karena itu, pilihlah busana yang longgar sehingga menyamarkan siluet tubuh. Begitu banyak model pakaian muslim di butik pakaian/fashion shop.

2. Sebaiknya tidak menggunakan baju ketat yang di double dengan baju lengan pendek, ¾, atau tank top. Jika Anda memilih untuk berbusana muslim maka pilihlah kreasi busana lengan panjang.

3. Pilih model dan bahan baju muslimah yang sesuai dengan aktivitas. Jika banyak beraktivitas pilihlah bahan yang menyerap keringat dan tak mudah kusut, yang terdiri dari atasan dan celana panjang. Tentunya banyak tersedia di butik pakaian/fashion shop. Untuk aktivitas yang lebih banyak diam pengguna busana muslim akan bertambah anggun dengan memakai rok.

4. Dalam memilih busana muslimah, pilihlah penutup kepala/jilbab yang tetap menutup leher. Pelajari berbagai kreasi kerudung yang banyak diinformasikan dalam media massa agar tetap mengikuti mode namun tetap mengikuti aturan agama.

Law of Attraction

2010-03-05T10:03:00.000+07:00

by Rick Walker

There is a considerable amount of material on the Internet concerning the strange world of Quantum Theory and the Law of Attraction. Many authors have noted the fact that an "observer" appears to manifest results in the quantum world and, from this, have concluded this proves we can manifest our reality through visualization and "The Law of Attraction".

First, we must understand clearly what is meant by the "observer" in quantum physics ... it is important. It is not me, sitting at my desk, independent of any apparatus. It is the apparatus I select in order to make an observation of a characteristic of a sub-atomic particle, to test a specific characteristic of that particle (frequency, position / momentum, etc). Using this apparatus, I then make my observation. However, quantum particles are so small that the media I use to make my observation (photons, x-rays, etc) interfere with / modify my observation. For example, if I use light waves (or particles), the wavelength is so large that I can determine little or nothing about a particles position. If I use more powerful (and energetic) x-rays, then I can make a determination of location but now know little or nothing with regard to position. This is the essence of the "Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle".

If I set up an experiment to detect the particle-like nature of light, I confirm particle-like behaviour. If I set up a double slit experiment to test the wave-like character, I confirm it's wave-like nature. If I set up a Compton scattering experiment, I confirm BOTH wave-like and particle-like nature. The experiment appears to dictate the results. More accurately, however, the experiment confirms the limits of our understanding and/or our inability to visualize the sub-atomic realm as compared to the Newtonian Classic realm in which we live. This was summarized (by physicists working on the problem) in the "Copenhagen Interpretation" - simply that we cannot visualize how Quantum Mechanics works, however, it does work and so we will proceed on this basis. (For more information at a laymen's level check out the Dancing Wu Li Masters).

Furthermore, understand that these are experiments to detect and determine the characteristics of one (or relatively few) sub-atomic particles, NOT the macroscopic realm in which we live our existence (comprised of many billions of atoms and molecules). It is much easier to visualize (set up an experiment) to manifest / actualize a sub-atomic particle than manifest $1 million cash.

Secondly, in our macroscopic world, once we begin visualizing desired outcomes (goals), we are potentially interacting / conflicting with others and their desired outcomes (i.e. why can't I win the "1 million lottery?"). It could be that others are visualizing just as hard for a conflicting / diamtrically opposed outcome (i.e. you are visualizing for the same lottery win).

Finally, through Einstein's famous theory (E=mc2), the amount of energy required to manifest a physical object would be huge.

I think the Quantum world (and Quantum Theory) throws our belief system about reality back in our faces but to clip ideas from Quantum theory to support ideas at the macroscopic level is misleading. Yes, it appears (due to our limited understanding of the Quantum World) that an Observer can cause light to display particle-like, wave-like or both particle-like and wave-like characteristics depending on the design of the experiment. However,this can not be legitimately extended to indicate that I can manifest $1 million simply by visualizing it.

Quantum theory does, indeed, have a considerable amount to say with regard to our perception (and philosophy) of reality but too many authors are using it out of context to promote (hype)

As an aside: A movie I thoroughly enjoyed, which explored the surface strangeness of Quantum Theory at a layman's level is Mindwalk.

Article Source : Article-treasure.com

Publication date : 11-16-2009

It's about furniture

2010-03-05T09:57:00.002+07:00

Comfortness Leather living room furniture

Enjoying leather living room furniture

Beautiful leather living room furniture

Luxury leather living room furniture

It's just about online

2010-03-05T09:42:00.002+07:00

Trying to get online web tv

because online web tv is cool

and it's true cool online web tv :)

Keeping Time

2009-05-27T10:19:00.000+07:00

By Marsha Maung

What keeping time really means is...being on time!

You know, there was once a upon a time when my friends or my husband's friends invite us for dinner or a gathering, they would expect us to be late by half-an-hour. They would be totally prepared if we were late and come in with unironed clothes, grouchy kids and soup stains all over our jeans and shirts. But whenever we appeared earlier or ON TIME, they would all start writing down numbers to buy lottery the next day!!

I never really realized how important timing is until a client woke me up. I didn't really piss him off but he subtly reminded me that being on time would bring me more customers and also more referrals. Coincidentally, that was also the time that I was looking through a book about being organized and becoming a more successful home-preneur.

My husband is a fanatic about time - so, my disregard towards timing makes him ill - really, really ill. Sometimes so ill that he would promise to throw the whole idea of going out together out the window.

Then it occurred to me - if it was so important to my husband, imagine what it would be like for my clients. Imagine what it would be like for them to have to wait for me all the time when THEY ARE PAYING ME TO DO WHATEVER THEY HAVE ASSIGNED FOR ME!

Thinking about it and mentally reversing the situation made me really sit up and think. And today, I am no longer as late as I used to be. I can be an occassional much-too-laidback or lackadaisical or procrastinator...whatever you call it.....person but, all in all, timing is now more important to me.

It's very important for us, home business owners, to be timely than for others. If, for example, a sales person from Braun is late for an appointment, you'd just sit back and wait cause they're BRAUN, you know what I mean. They must have about 100 appointments a day. But when a home business owner is late about handing up a project, the client would automatically think one thing - this person is not serious about his/her business. And it's bad to work with someone who's not serious about his/her work. And you know, you'll just lose the business this way - much too easily.

So, take my advice. If there was one thing you have to change. it's your timing.

Everything else, you can change tomorrow.....no pun intended here. :-)

Garbage In Its Place

2009-05-22T12:16:00.000+07:00

By Dave Brummet and Lillian Brummet

There is nothing worse than seeing garbage blowing down the street of your neighborhood, or finding broken shards of glass at the local swimming hole where children play. Wildlife is just as vulnerable to garbage and many have lost their lives after becoming tangled in waste or mistaking garbage for food. It is up to each of us to make an effort to minimize this unsightly, and sometimes hazardous, problem.

Animals, wind and traffic breezes put legs to loose garbage and are able to distribute it great distances from the original source. The first thing that we can do to prevent this is to ensure trashcan and dumpster lids are secure. Metal and plastic trashcans are more preventative than bags - leaving a bag out over night or even for several hours, is an enticing invitation for stray animals to wreak havoc. When taking a load to the dump, be sure that it is securely covered by tightly tying a tarp over the load with some rope or bungee cords.

Carry plastic shopping bags on your walks to clean up litter that you find along the way. Often, people are rewarded for their efforts by the deposits returned from bottles and cans. Those who have noticed your efforts will begin taking up the same habit once they realize the impact it has.

Report any dumping you witness, whether it was done illegally or accidentally - just get the license number and leave the rest to the officials. Also, report any site where garbage has been left by others. These problems can be reported to the local city, highway, public works or conservation office. Ask them to arrange for it to be cleaned up.

By doing these relatively small actions, we prevent contamination and injuries to people or wildlife in the area. When separating recyclable items, we keep a valuable resource out of the landfill. In addition, we maintain a pristine environment for citizens, tourists and wildlife to enjoy. We can all take pride knowing that by keeping garbage in its place, we are making the world just a little better for everyone.

Motivation Quotes

2009-05-20T12:12:00.000+07:00

You have a very powerful mind that can make anything happen as long as you keep yourself centered.
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Three Tips for Forgiveness: A Key Factor in Anger Management

2009-05-18T12:10:00.000+07:00

By Dr. Tony Fiore

Elizabeth, 32, cried during anger management class as she told how one year ago - her 19-month-old girl was permanently brain-damaged as the result of a medical error at the hospital in which she was delivered.

Elizabeth had a legitimate grievance toward the hospital and medical staff, and felt that she could never forgive them for what she saw as their incompetence. She clearly was not yet ready to forgive. She felt she needed her simmering anger to motivate her to do what she felt she needed to do legally and otherwise to deal with this horrific situation.

Yet, at some point in the future - when she is ready - Elizabeth might decide to find a way to forgive. To be able to do this, she will have to take the step of separating two things in her mind: (1) blaming the hospital for what they did and (2) blaming them for her resulting feelings about the situation.

Reasons to forgive

Elizabeth cannot change what was done to her daughter, but she can change how she lives the rest of her life. If she continues to hold an intense grievance, she is giving what happened in the past the power to determine her present emotional well being. Until she forgives, Elizabeth will be victimized over and over again, trapped in an emotional prison.

Should you forgive?

The answer to this question always comes down to personal choices and decisions. Some people in our anger management classes feel that certain things cannot and shouldn't be forgiven; others feel that ultimately anything can be forgiven.

As an example of what is possible, the staff of the Stanford Forgiveness Project successfully worked with Protestant and Catholic families of Northern Ireland whose children had been killed by each other. Using the techniques taught by the Stanford group, these grieving parents were able to forgive and get on with their lives.

On the other hand, Dr. Abrams-Spring, author of the classic `"After the Affair," cautions that quickly and easily forgiving a cheating partner indicates low self-esteem. In her view, forgiveness must be earned by the offending partner, but given automatically.

Reasons to forgive

Studies have shown that there are measurable benefits to forgiveness:

- Forgiving is good for your health. Studies show that people who forgive report fewer health problems while people who blame others for their troubles have a higher incidence of illness such as cardiovascular disease and cancers.

- Forgiving is good for your peace of mind. Scientific research shows that forgiveness often improves your peace of mind. A 1996 study showed that the more people forgave those who hurt them, the less angry they were.

- Two studies of divorced people show that those who forgave their former spouse were healthier emotionally than those who chose not to forgive. The forgivers had a higher sense of well being and lower anxiety and depression.

Forgiveness tips

It is common for angry people to think, "I want to forgive, and I know I should, but I don't know how." Here are some starting points:

Tip 1: Remember, forgiveness is a process that takes time and patience to complete. You must be ready. Realize that forgiveness is for you - not for anyone else.

Tip 2: Realize that forgiving does not mean you are condoning the actions of the offender or what they did to you. It does mean that you will blame less and find a way to think differently about what happened to you.

Tip 3: Refocus on the positives in your life. A life well lived is the best revenge. People who find a way to see love, beauty and kindness around them are better able to forgive and get past their grievances.

Too Much to Do? Too Little Time?

2009-05-16T12:08:00.000+07:00

By Aurelia Williams

Hey - Did someone press the FFW button?

Have you ever felt like someone just pressed the Fast-forward button on your day and before you know it the day is over and you are sitting there wondering what you've accomplished?

I love to organize and with working Part Time outside of the home and FULL-TIME at home with my business, 4 children and Husband I really rely on a schedule and many time management tips to keep my sanity (ok, so some of you think I am already insane, I won't argue with that) but at least I am organized ;)

Here are a few of my favorite Time management Tips:

1. Meal Planning: Try planning 1 - 2 weeks worth of meals at a time and write them down on a calendar. Do your shopping accordingly and prep tomorrows dinner today. You will be AMAZED at what a time saver this is.

2. To-Do Lists: I know most people HATE them but they actually do work. Just take a few moments out of your day (either in the morning or in the evening) to make a list for that day or the following day. Be sure to only put down the items that you MUST finish on this list.

3. Delegate: Do you have friends, a husband, children that can pitch in and do a few things for you? If so, be sure to use all of your resources.

4. Morning Rush: Scooting the children out of the door can be a huge time eater! Be sure to prepare lunches, lay out clothes and plan your breakfast the night before. This will make your mornings run a tad smoother.

5. Just say "NO"!: Such a small word that carries a might punch! If you truly can't fit something into your schedule and it is not urgent, just say No!. Keep a list of non-urgent things that you can do on hand for when you do have some down time.

Well, those are just a few of my time management tips. I personally set aside about 15 minutes a night and sit down with my Palm Pilot and make a short TO-DO list for the following day and it is amazing at the time this save.

Also be mindful of your own body. Are you a morning, afternoon or night person? Try to schedule your most time consuming tasks when you have the most energy.

Take Care!

Creating A Not-To-Do List

2009-05-14T12:06:00.000+07:00

By Ramona Creel

When I sit down with a client to work on prioritizing and delegating, the biggest challenge we face is deciding what kinds of activities and responsibilities to give up. Quite often, we get so entrenched in what we think we SHOULD be doing, that we forget to pay attention to what we ENJOY doing. So when it comes time to let go of the boring, tedious, and time-consuming tasks that eat up our day, we have a struggle trying to identify them.

It is incredibly difficult for people to admit that they can't do everything themselves. Well guess what -- you can't! And I don't know that you would want to, even if you had the time. Some activities in life are unpleasant, outside of your range of expertise, or just not what you want to spend your time on. And there is nothing wrong with admitting that you don't want to do something, as long as you can find someone else to do it for you. That is the purpose behind creating a not-to-do list -- helping you identify chores, errands, and daily responsibilities that you can (and should) delegate to another person.

GETTING STARTED

They key to creating a successful "not-to-do" list is awareness -- paying attention to what you do, how long it takes, how often you do it, and whether or not you get some benefit from that particular activity. However, we spend so much of our days on autopilot and in a state of overload, that simply trying to recall how you spent yesterday morning can be a real challenge! You will make things much easier if you keep a NOTEPAD nearby, where you can record your daily activities.

This doesn't mean that you have to log every second of your day ("8:00 -- got up" / "8:05 to 8:10 -- used bathroom" / "8:15 to 8:45 -- had breakfast" isn't really going to help you be more effective and efficient!) But if you can start tracking your work activities (could be paid outside work or housework or whatever fills your day), your travel time to and from activities, and any other external responsibilities (committee meetings, carpools, volunteering), you will begin to see places where you can trim and tighten your schedule through delegation.

So as you sit at your desk or work in your house or travel in your car, make a note of what you are doing -- such as "checking e-mails" or "cleaning oven" or "buying groceries." Then, estimate how much time you have spent on that particular chore or errand (don't forget travel and preparation time). We will continue on later with some in-depth questions about whether this action needs to be done at all (!!) and whether it needs to be done by you. But for now, that's the start of your "not-to-do" list.

HOW MUCH IS YOUR TIME IS WORTH?

When you were a kid, you probably had no clue what it took to earn money -- and you had no qualms about spending it freely on anything that caught your eye. But when you got an after-school job or started working for your allowance, you became a lot more discriminating about where you spent your hard-earned cash.

It's the same with time. Very few people in our society really know what their time is worth -- in concrete financial terms. But until you recognize that your time is intrinsically valuable, you will never be able to make informed decisions about where your time is best spent. Here's a general guide you can use in determining how much an hour of your time is worth, and how just one hour a day -- spent poorly or wisely -- adds up over a year's time:

INCOME.........ONE HOUR......IN A YEAR

$25,000.........$12.61.........$3,125

$40,000.........$20.49.........$5,000

$50,000.........$25.61.........$6,250

$75,000.........$38.42.........$9,375

$100,000........$51.23.........$12,500

$125,000........$65.10.........$15,884

$150,000........$76.84.........$18,750

$175,000........$89.65.........$21,875

$200,000........$102.46.........$25,000

$250,000........$128.07.........$31,250

$300,000........$153.69.........$37,500

** Based on 244 working days per year

So, you can always look at delegating in terms of the biggest financial payoff. When I hire someone to take care of an item on my not-to-do list -- and I pay them $25 an hour while my hour is worth $60 -- I'm coming out ahead. The same is true when I can hire someone to do a task in a half hour that would take me 3 to complete. I can be focusing on higher priorities -- things that feed my soul or grow my business or let me know I'm alive -- without worrying that the work isn't being done.

LOOK AT COSTS VERSUS BENEFITS

Have you ever caught yourself spending a lot of time on a very low-payoff activity? Maybe it's something that really does need to be done -- like addressing 1500 envelopes for a routine mass mailing or cleaning all of the window screens in your house -- but it's not something that is going to tremendously improve your quality of life. And it might be a hugely time-consuming activity, where the rewards you will reap don't even begin to compare to your investment of time and energy.

Most of these kinds of low-payoff jobs really serve as maintenance. The completion of these small activities doesn't make a major impact on your life -- but if left undone, they can erode away at your home, your career, your health, your peace of mind and cause serious problems down the road. That makes these chores perfect candidates for your "not-to-do" list -- items that really need to be done, but not necessarily by YOU. Here are some of the most common suggestions I hear from my clients -- see which resonate with you as being potentially delegable:

- house cleaning

- grocery shopping / meal preparation

- paperwork (filing / mailings / organizing)

- errand-running

- yard work / landscaping

- home maintenance / car maintenance

- follow-up with clients (phone calls / e-mails)

- travel / meeting / event arrangements

ARE YOU HAVING FUN?

Of course, you have to pay attention to more than just the financial cost of each task you perform yourself. You also have to ask if you really enjoy the work. Even though I could probably find someone else to maintain my website for me, I really enjoy the process of creating new pages, bringing ideas to life, and watching my "baby" blossom and grow. It is time consuming, but I'm filled with a renewed energy each time I sit down to add a new section to my site. So the payoff for me is in the emotional charge I get -- the sense of satisfaction and creativity -- and that is priceless, regardless of what my hour is worth.

On the other hand, my sister loves gardening. She finds it incredibly relaxing to dig in the dirt and watch a tiny bud explode into color in her front yard. Now lawn care is pretty much my idea of hell -- so I would probably hire someone else to take care of my shrubbery and flowers (if I had a yard!) It's all a matter of what energizes you, what fills your life with joy, and what you look forward to doing. If an activity fits this description, keep it for yourself and find other less-pleasurable chores to include on your not-to-do list.

IS THIS THE BEST POSSIBLE USE OF YOUR TIME?

The final question I always ask my clients when setting up their lists is, "What is the best possible use of your time at this exact moment?" We usually tend to focus too much on the daily grind -- paying bills, keeping the house clean, writing reports, etc. -- and too little on our real PRIORITIES. Do you really need to be organizing the garage, or spending time with your kids at the park? Is it a higher priority that you decide where to put the coffee pot and how to arrange the chairs at the upcoming sales meeting, or that you develop a strong agenda and provide guidance during the group discussion? Ask yourself where you will get the biggest bang for your buck. That should be where you focus your attention, and let someone else handle the rest.

FINDING AN ALTERNATIVE

Okay, so you've made a list of items that you would love to delegate -- who do you hand them off to? You have so many options!

- Get your family involved in the act -- kids and spouses are just as capable of handling those daily chores as you are!

- Ask a co-worker for some assistance -- and offer to help out the next time he or she needs a little bit of a break

- Make use of your support staff (administrative clerks, assistants, and other assorted minions) -- that's what they are there for

- Hire an independent contractor or freelancer to help with household and business tasks that you don't have time for

- Develop a local co-op for sharing those time-consuming domestic (trading off on cooking, cleaning, errand-running, or child care) -- or set up an informal swap with a neighbor

Just remember, you aren't in it alone. You simply have to decide what you want to delegate and then be willing to ask for help. Good luck!

Self Confidence Counseling

2006-06-08T09:54:00.000+07:00

To lose your self confidence is to lose your very fiber of trust in yourself. Instead of a person able to freely make sound judgment calls and possesses excellent decision making skills, individuals that lack self confidence are constantly second guessing themselves and often unable to make even the simplest decision without gnawing worry and concern.

If you have found yourself to be slipping into the pit of low self confidence, do not worry, there is hope! Instead of berating yourself over poor actions that occurred in the past, change your future. Seek out counseling that will enable you to rebuild and maintain your self confidence at unparalleled levels.

The first step to self confidence counseling is making the commitment to seek out and attend these helpful sessions. Whether private or in a group setting, this counseling can be the spark that changes your life. You may enter the sessions as a self doubting, passive individual, but you will leave full of hope and optimism with the ability to totally trust your own actions and judgments. Before you enter counseling, consider any potential obstacles in your current life.

Perhaps your spouse, family member, friend, or co-worker has lowered your self confidence and may be detrimental to your counseling. Perhaps you have experienced low self confidence since childhood and need to break the cycle imposed upon you by your parents or guardians.

Maybe you are in a difficult situation at your job, with employees, bosses, or colleagues constantly tearing away at your self confidence. Whatever the case, you should be prepared to make the commitment to begin a new way of life in order to rebuild your self confidence. Even the smallest changes will help you in this process. Being in the right frame of mind before you begin will assist you to your goal in a quicker, more positive manner.

Once you have determined to seek counseling, begin researching viable options. The World Wide Web is a great source of information on counseling spots in your city or town. If you feel entering counseling will be too overwhelming for you or your schedule does not allow it, the Internet is also a great tool that enables you to virtually meet and discuss with individuals from all over the world.

There are many websites, forums, and chat rooms devoted to individuals working to rebuild their self confidence. You can join these sites anonymously if you are worried about others finding out your private information, but still have the capability to begin some type of counseling. Many individuals have a strong, confidence façade, but lack the same components on the inside. If you find yourself in this situation and do not want the world to know you have a problem with your self confidence, this method of virtual counseling is perfect for you.

Traditional counseling tends to be the most effective method of rebuilding your dwindling self confidence. Universities, hospitals, churches, civic groups, and even local organizations offer counseling of one sort of another. You may be interested in joining a support group in order to interact with others that share your feelings of doubt and distrust.

Many individuals find themselves too shy or ashamed for one reason or another to join a support group, or any other type of group counseling, immediately. If you find yourself in this boat, consider private counseling first, then graduating on to group counseling. If money is a concern, it should be known that group counseling is usually a great deal cheaper—if not free—than private, one-on-one counseling.

What ever form of counseling you decide upon, enter into it with seriousness and determination. If you maintain a positive attitude and strive towards achieving your goals, your self confidence is guaranteed to drastically improve.

The Key to Self Esteem

2006-04-25T10:58:00.000+07:00

Self-esteem, like happiness, is a state of mind. It can make you feel happy, cheerful and confident. It can also make you feel worthless, unwanted and weak. Self-esteem can best be compared to a powerful battery. When the battery is fully charged, the individual feels confident and raring to go; when the battery is run down the individual feels low and wants to hide.

Obviously, individuals with low self-esteem cannot be expected to do well in life. They will approach every issue with a lack of confidence even though they may be fully capable of doing a job. That is why self-belief is considered the bedrock of self-esteem. It gives an individual the extra confidence that makes all the difference between an achiever and a failure.

So how do you inculcate a sense of self-belief in yourself? You will be making a big mistake if you start seeing yourself as the most important man in your field. This cannot be called self-belief or self-esteem. Instead it is conceit, and as everyone knows conceit is a dangerous quality. It generates false confidence, which often becomes a source of woes.

What you need is healthy self-esteem. This means that you should look at yourself as an individual who is at par with his peer group, who has nothing to feel ashamed of, and who looks at all issues with a positive frame of mind. Healthy self-esteem also means that you are able to differentiate between humility and self-effacement, between arrogance and modesty, between complacency and hyperactivity.

However, to do so you must learn to accept yourself as any other individual who will have some strengths and some weaknesses, and who will have some good days and some bad days. You must learn to ride out the good with the bad. Most important, you must believe in the clichéd saying that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. It will give you the confidence and self-belief that every individual needs in his bad moments. This is what self-esteem is all about – a self-belief in oneself.

Those who sit and mope can never feel happy. The same applies to those who blame the fate for their ills. Their energies are consumed by negative emotions. These emotions are like a whirlpool. They suck you deeper and deeper till you loose all semblance of self-respect and self-confidence.

Don’t allow mistakes or failures to overwhelm you. Similarly, don’t allow guilt to eat away your happiness. Accept your mistakes. It will make you feel much better. You must always remember that you loose self-esteem when you try to run away from problems and challenges. Such behavior makes you weak. It also causes your self-esteem to dip. In contrast, your self-esteem soars when you overcome a difficult situation.

Another important thing about self-esteem is the need to look at it as a single entity. Many people derive great happiness from their accomplishments. Their self-esteem rises when they are in the company of people who acknowledge their success. However, the same self-esteem plunges when they are in a family group where they are not accepted with the same degree of warmth. They feel unhappy, and neglected, and avoid mixing with their family members. This is escapism. It will gnaw away an individual’s self-esteem till he becomes lonely and unhappy. It will also impact on his professional work at some point of time or the other.

To improve your self-esteem, you also need to be fair to yourself. Very often individuals are very harsh on themselves when things go wrong. They plunge into a state of depression, and allow guilt to consume them. It is quite possible that their decision may have brought misfortune upon a family or a company that trusted them. But over-reaction will not change things. All individuals must judge their actions fairly. Self-flagellation is the worst form of defeat. It weakens individuals, and destroys their self-esteem.

The Joy of Self Confidence

2006-04-25T10:54:00.000+07:00

Self confident people stay ahead of deadlines

Self confidence is known to make employees more effective in their jobs. Confident employees are capable of taking up complex tasks that require greater commitment and concentration. Confident executives are filled with hope and enthusiasm and are able to charge up the atmosphere of their workplace thereby inspiring people around them. These executives are a great asset to their employers as they have all that it takes to finish to with perfection the task at hand. Self confident people develop a habit of succeeding in whatever task they put their focus on. These guys surely beat deadlines.

Self confident people remain cheerful

A confident person is able to complete his jobs within the stipulated time and maintains an organized schedule. Staying ahead of deadlines keeps a person in control of the situation and matters at both office and home. A task completed well on time gives a certain joy and lots of time at hand as well. This avoids many tight situations and helps to maintain the calm and poise of a person. Self confidence is the best “face pack” one can have. You can make out a self-confident person with his beaming eyes and a cheerful persona.

Self confident people enjoy better health

Self-confident people are able to deal with chaotic situations with comparatively more calm and poise. They do not get puzzled because they have an inherent belief that they are capable of setting things right and make constructive efforts to solve the problem. This helps them avoid stress, high blood pressure, anger and confusion. Self confident people are, hence, on their way to good health and peaceful life.

Self confident people have more time for their family

A good day at workplace more often than not is quite a big factor as to how a person behaves once he gets back home. A great day at office makes a person cheerful and someone who would like to share happy moments with his family. He will have more time for his family. Spending time with spouse and kids often is a rejuvenating experience and makes him or her look forward for another great day.

Self confident people enjoy stronger relationship bonds

Spending time is the most precious investment one can make in any relationship. These days when divorce is on rise among working couples, confident people take difficulties in their stride. They are better organizers and are able to draw a line between work and family, creating a balance in their work and family lives. They are able to spend quality time with their families. They make sure that the time for the family should remain exclusively for the family and they avoid mixing it with work. Spending more time with children help them grow up with more sense of security and belongingness. These children, thus, have much greater chance to be self-reliant and self-confident when they grow up. Self confident people, by the virtue of their ability to organize things better are able to cement relationships with time and care. Self confident people also have friends and enjoy active social life.

Self confident people make more money

Self confidence helps executives generate a lot of team spirit and to have the ability to take up complex tasks and lead from the front. These qualities certainly bring profits in various ways for the company they work for. They are able to focus at the job at hand and complete it successfully. Self confident people tend to climb the corporate ladder comparatively fast and getter better pay packages!

Self confident people become role models

Self confident people stand a far greater chance of achieving success in life both on their work and personal fronts, than their counterparts. Self-confident people develop a certain charisma around them which makes people look up to them. They believe in themselves and develop the courage to take on bigger problems and provide solutions.

Self-confident people rise to enviable positions and act as a source of inspiration for learners and beginners. Self-confident people have more capability to become an asset to the company they work for and the nation they live in. People take pride in knowing and following them, and they often become role models as an employee of his company or as a father of his kid!

2006-02-06T10:11:00.000+07:00

How To Build Your Self Confidence

By; d-swulan

Learn to accept yourself

The very first step is to accept yourself – lovingly. No person in the world in perfect so why bother and shed tears over your imperfectness. This is how God wanted us to be – Imperfect! We might have something that someone else may lack and someone else might be endowed with the qualities, which we lack.

This incompleteness makes us go out and seek companions who make us feel loved, wanted and complete. Oh what a great feeling! Would we experience it if we were inside the cocoon of our perfection? Never! So accept yourself the way you are. It will free your mind of a heavy baggage of unnecessary worries. You will instantly feel light and cheerful.

Liberate yourself - Go out and do what you like!

How long it has been since you last went to have a walk among the pines – something that you loved as a child? How long has it been when you walked hand in hand with your friend to the bakery and tossed a coin to decide what to buy? These might seem very simple things but these simple things have the power to add on to build great confidence and fulfilment.

Life if see is actually quite simple. What gets a bit too complex though is to remain simple. Isn’t it? Just as small drops of water make the mighty ocean, the little things you enjoy doing have the capability to turn you into a storehouse of confidence. When God made you, He put a desire in your heart and bestowed onto you the capability to achieve it.

However, in the process of growing up, you forgot what exactly was your purpose, what is that you liked and what is that you enjoyed doing. It does happen with lots and lots of people who do feel like breaking free but are too tied up in their day to day responsibilities that it gets impossible for them to spare even 10 minutes to reflect on their lives, their direction, their dreams and goals. It’s our duty to clear the mess that prevents us from hearing to our heart.

The conversations with your heart should keep getting clearer and the best way to do it is to find time to do what you enjoy. And since you enjoy doing that activity, it straightaway means that you have all the aptitude and intelligence necessary to do the job effortlessly even though you may not realize it.

Find your flock

Birds of a feather flock together. You must find out people with whom you enjoy being. They are certainly the people of your frequency and the energy flow between you and them is natural.

Life becomes easy when you are among the people who are more or less on the same plane of thought as you and it’s easier to relate to them. They seem to understand you and vice versa thus creating conditions for healthy conversations. A good conversation is a very healthy exercise and an important need of our mind. We all want our ideas to be heard and appreciated and a good company provides platform for the same.

Set Achievable Goals and Go for it!

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The idea is to begin with a small single step that can then further developed into giant strides. Learn to do the work at hand rather than to overwhelm oneself by looking at the entirety of a mammoth looking task. Just like the soil underneath your foot, the top of mountain too would someday be under your step.

The only way to do something is to Go For It! No matter how small the progress is the focus should be on completing a task successfully even though it’s a small task. A series of big uncompleted task is a sure shot way to depression. Break a big task into a list of small tasks to be completed. Tick off from your list each job successfully completed. A completed task no matter how small it is gives a sense of achievement that boosts our confidence and equips us with more energy to try a bigger task.

2006-02-06T10:00:00.000+07:00

Check Your Confidence Levels

By; d-swulan
Would you like to be confident? Your answer may be - yes; I do want to be confident. However, this answer lacks the impact. It is too generalized. Just like everybody wants to do well in life and be rich but not many ever realize this wish. This is because to actually get somewhere in life, you need to quantify your confidence. You need to define the task for which you need to be confident so that you can execute it successfully. A mere wish to be confident won’t take you anywhere. The dream must have a deadline as well!

Self Confidence might mean different things to different people groups. For a child it might mean to be able to recite the poem to her teacher the next morning. For a business executive it might mean to be able to present the business report to the Board of Directors. For a salaried person it may be the ability to be able to make a switch over from his secure job to a new independent venture and so on.

To execute their respective tasks, these people need a certain level of confidence, which would see them through. Every task requires a minimum level of confidence to be able to be executed. Do you have a task in your mind to be done? Do you have the level of confidence required? Let us check it out!

Following is a simple questionnaire. You have to answer to these in a YES or NO

1. Does it happen too often with you that you cannot take a decision all by yourself and you seem to look for your colleagues, friends, or your spouse to sort the matter for you?
2. Do you always seem to be in perpetual need of a support system wherein you can feel secure?
3. Do you just sit and listen all the times in your office meetings?
4. Do you feel difficulty in reporting a matter to your boss or you have an excellent idea that can improve your company’s efficiency but you cannot muster enough courage to go and talk about it to your Boss?
5. Are you terrified to meet someone new? Is public speaking your worst nightmare?
6. Do you timidly accept orders from your superior even though you know that you are already overloaded and you need to say no?
7. Are you excessively concerned about what other people think of you?
8. Do you fear taking risks?
9. Do you feel dissatisfied about your appearance?
10. Are you uncomfortable in social gatherings – being amongst lots of people?

If you happen to answer these questions with a Yes, you seem to have a confidence crisis that might become an obstacle in successfully executing your tasks. Don’t Panic, as it is good that you found out since now you are aware of a potential problem of your life.

The very fact that you are aware of your confidence rating makes you ready to take further action and work towards eliminating the negative effects of low confidence levels and work towards building your self confidence.

Here are some more questions you may answer.

1. Have you accomplished anything in the past?
2. Are you the one to go ahead and break the ice at a new place or wait for someone else to initiate a discussion?
3. Do you feel you are well respected by others?
4. Do you think you have the potential to succeed?
5. Are you a happy and loving person?
6. Are you satisfied with your career graph?
7. Are you satisfied with your skills and qualifications?
8. Do you feel in control of your life?
9. Do you imagine yourself to be more successful five years from now?
10. Do you feel that you are a worthwhile person?

If you happen to answer most of these questions with a NO, you have LOW self-confidence levels.

However, a YES is never decisive and a NO is never final. One needs to constantly maintain the good points and work towards converting bad points into good points. And the good news is that it is very much possible.

It’s important that you honestly answer the questions above, since only when you realize the present status of your self-confidence would you be working towards building self-confidence or maintaining and increasing your present levels.