Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The Key to Self Esteem

Self-esteem, like happiness, is a state of mind. It can make you feel happy, cheerful and confident. It can also make you feel worthless, unwanted and weak. Self-esteem can best be compared to a powerful battery. When the battery is fully charged, the individual feels confident and raring to go; when the battery is run down the individual feels low and wants to hide.

Obviously, individuals with low self-esteem cannot be expected to do well in life. They will approach every issue with a lack of confidence even though they may be fully capable of doing a job. That is why self-belief is considered the bedrock of self-esteem. It gives an individual the extra confidence that makes all the difference between an achiever and a failure.

So how do you inculcate a sense of self-belief in yourself? You will be making a big mistake if you start seeing yourself as the most important man in your field. This cannot be called self-belief or self-esteem. Instead it is conceit, and as everyone knows conceit is a dangerous quality. It generates false confidence, which often becomes a source of woes.

What you need is healthy self-esteem. This means that you should look at yourself as an individual who is at par with his peer group, who has nothing to feel ashamed of, and who looks at all issues with a positive frame of mind. Healthy self-esteem also means that you are able to differentiate between humility and self-effacement, between arrogance and modesty, between complacency and hyperactivity.

However, to do so you must learn to accept yourself as any other individual who will have some strengths and some weaknesses, and who will have some good days and some bad days. You must learn to ride out the good with the bad. Most important, you must believe in the clichéd saying that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. It will give you the confidence and self-belief that every individual needs in his bad moments. This is what self-esteem is all about – a self-belief in oneself.

Those who sit and mope can never feel happy. The same applies to those who blame the fate for their ills. Their energies are consumed by negative emotions. These emotions are like a whirlpool. They suck you deeper and deeper till you loose all semblance of self-respect and self-confidence.

Don’t allow mistakes or failures to overwhelm you. Similarly, don’t allow guilt to eat away your happiness. Accept your mistakes. It will make you feel much better. You must always remember that you loose self-esteem when you try to run away from problems and challenges. Such behavior makes you weak. It also causes your self-esteem to dip. In contrast, your self-esteem soars when you overcome a difficult situation.

Another important thing about self-esteem is the need to look at it as a single entity. Many people derive great happiness from their accomplishments. Their self-esteem rises when they are in the company of people who acknowledge their success. However, the same self-esteem plunges when they are in a family group where they are not accepted with the same degree of warmth. They feel unhappy, and neglected, and avoid mixing with their family members. This is escapism. It will gnaw away an individual’s self-esteem till he becomes lonely and unhappy. It will also impact on his professional work at some point of time or the other.

To improve your self-esteem, you also need to be fair to yourself. Very often individuals are very harsh on themselves when things go wrong. They plunge into a state of depression, and allow guilt to consume them. It is quite possible that their decision may have brought misfortune upon a family or a company that trusted them. But over-reaction will not change things. All individuals must judge their actions fairly. Self-flagellation is the worst form of defeat. It weakens individuals, and destroys their self-esteem.

The Joy of Self Confidence

Self confident people stay ahead of deadlines

Self confidence is known to make employees more effective in their jobs. Confident employees are capable of taking up complex tasks that require greater commitment and concentration. Confident executives are filled with hope and enthusiasm and are able to charge up the atmosphere of their workplace thereby inspiring people around them. These executives are a great asset to their employers as they have all that it takes to finish to with perfection the task at hand. Self confident people develop a habit of succeeding in whatever task they put their focus on. These guys surely beat deadlines.

Self confident people remain cheerful

A confident person is able to complete his jobs within the stipulated time and maintains an organized schedule. Staying ahead of deadlines keeps a person in control of the situation and matters at both office and home. A task completed well on time gives a certain joy and lots of time at hand as well. This avoids many tight situations and helps to maintain the calm and poise of a person. Self confidence is the best “face pack” one can have. You can make out a self-confident person with his beaming eyes and a cheerful persona.

Self confident people enjoy better health

Self-confident people are able to deal with chaotic situations with comparatively more calm and poise. They do not get puzzled because they have an inherent belief that they are capable of setting things right and make constructive efforts to solve the problem. This helps them avoid stress, high blood pressure, anger and confusion. Self confident people are, hence, on their way to good health and peaceful life.

Self confident people have more time for their family

A good day at workplace more often than not is quite a big factor as to how a person behaves once he gets back home. A great day at office makes a person cheerful and someone who would like to share happy moments with his family. He will have more time for his family. Spending time with spouse and kids often is a rejuvenating experience and makes him or her look forward for another great day.

Self confident people enjoy stronger relationship bonds

Spending time is the most precious investment one can make in any relationship. These days when divorce is on rise among working couples, confident people take difficulties in their stride. They are better organizers and are able to draw a line between work and family, creating a balance in their work and family lives. They are able to spend quality time with their families. They make sure that the time for the family should remain exclusively for the family and they avoid mixing it with work. Spending more time with children help them grow up with more sense of security and belongingness. These children, thus, have much greater chance to be self-reliant and self-confident when they grow up. Self confident people, by the virtue of their ability to organize things better are able to cement relationships with time and care. Self confident people also have friends and enjoy active social life.

Self confident people make more money

Self confidence helps executives generate a lot of team spirit and to have the ability to take up complex tasks and lead from the front. These qualities certainly bring profits in various ways for the company they work for. They are able to focus at the job at hand and complete it successfully. Self confident people tend to climb the corporate ladder comparatively fast and getter better pay packages!

Self confident people become role models

Self confident people stand a far greater chance of achieving success in life both on their work and personal fronts, than their counterparts. Self-confident people develop a certain charisma around them which makes people look up to them. They believe in themselves and develop the courage to take on bigger problems and provide solutions.

Self-confident people rise to enviable positions and act as a source of inspiration for learners and beginners. Self-confident people have more capability to become an asset to the company they work for and the nation they live in. People take pride in knowing and following them, and they often become role models as an employee of his company or as a father of his kid!